Paddy and Mary Breslin in Greencastle, County Donegal, September 2005

Mary Breslin
September 27, 1950
November 29, 2005



Paddy and Mary Breslin in Greencastle, County Donegal, September 2005

Mary Breslin first came to the Making a Difference workshop in Derry-Londonderry in 1997 at the urging of her sister, Annie O’Hare. It was a good fit for her, and over time she took on more and more responsibility for the work of the Mastery Foundation in Ireland and Northern Ireland, until she became the coordinator and mainstay of all our work there.

A warm, deeply spiritual woman who knew her own mind and heart, Mary quietly built a life of remarkable accomplishment. She was the first woman to graduate from university in Northern Ireland with a degree in mechanical engineering. She went on to found her own engineering firm (which she later sold to the employees), to serve on countless educational and community boards, and to become the first woman to chair a British port when she was named Chair of the Londonderry Port and Harbour Commissioners in 2001. Mary was also a founder of Vital Voices, a patron of Women in Enterprise, and in 2003 was named by Queen Elizabeth II a Commander of the Order of the British Empire for her service to business and the community. Still, she was happiest as the wife of Paddy Breslin and the mother of three wonderful boys – John, Kevin, and Peter.

In November 2004, when we had expected Mary to be part of the design team for our major leadership program, she instead went into the hospital where she learned she had cancer that had advanced from it primary site to her skeletal system. She wrote the first of a series of letters to her friends to let them know how she was.

In the depths of myself I am at peace. My faith and my spiritual journeys in the past give me a great solid foundation that will not be unsettled by even a cancer diagnosis. On the outside I am normal – I have cried a lot, I have been in a lot of pain at times, and there are anxious periods as I monitor when I get stiff and find it difficult to move, when the pain is starting somewhere new and any other changes that I don’t expect. It is also difficult to look at the distress on the faces of family and friends who come to visit – all of us wish we had it in our power to change how things are, to not have this happen – but we are at this point, and in loving and supporting each other we will get through it all.

For the next year, Mary lived as normally as possible within the limitations of her treatment – spending time with family and friends, going to the office occasionally. And while she cut back on her community work, she continued to do what she could, particularly for the Mastery Foundation. In September, she even attended Intensive I as a participant, and she wrote about the experience later in what would be her final letter to her friends.

I took part in The Mastery Foundation Intensive – a three-day program for leaders in peace-building and community work recently. My normal role in the event is the invitation of participants and then preparation and follow-up to ensure they get the most out of participation. One of the central themes of the workshop is exploring the idea of leaving the past in the past and creating a new future which is not repeating the past though may be informed by it – effectively clearing what might get in the way from our past out of our future. I choose to apply the workshop to my personal situation to glean some insight into how to deal with a tendency to want to recover a life I used to have, but also to face a life which may be limited in time.

In preparation for the workshop and looking at my past, I came to the idea that my life comprised two distinct flows of activity. In one the emphasis is on feeding and nurturing myself – body, soul, and spirit, essentially keeping the being that I am alive and seeking life to the full. On the other I could see myself in a river of life I had joined on the day I was born and would leave it when I died, and the value or fullness of that part of my life would be impacted and influenced by those whom I encountered in the stream, and that included God, the Divine, and the spiritual dimension. In the same way I would have opportunities to contribute to and support others through the heights and depths of a multitude of shared experiences, leave my mark on history through creating a future as I made choices, got involved, got others involved, felt the emotions and shared the joys and pain of my own life and the many, many people I had come to know and love through family, work, community, and social activity.

When I got to the workshop itself and reviewed my thoughts up until then, I was left with only choosing a declaration about my future. My thoughts and fears about its length on earth have disappeared as a concern for me. When I become aware of the anxiety of my family and their desire that I live long and prosper, I am drawn back into the stream of nurturing and feeding myself and taking on the medical options that might provide extended survival. My declaration came easily in the end, because like all good things we eventually get to, speaking out clearly we recognize as being around in the background for a long time. So I can say from my heart, in my soul and spirit I am the possibility of loving God, myself, and my communities. It covers all I need to say to anyone, all I need to acknowledge to myself, and it is my earnest prayer of thanks and praise to God for the love that I have received in such great measure from Him and from so many I have encountered in the stream of life…

Thank you each for being a special friend and taking this journey with me.

Love forever, Mary Breslin

Before the end of October, Mary was back in the hospital, and on November 10th she moved to the Foyle Hospice. Several sponsors and board members who were in Belfast for Intensive II made the journey to visit her. Each of us was struck by how happy she was to see her friends and how at peace she was. She continued that way until she died on the evening of November 29th, surrounded by her family. Her funeral on December 2nd was standing room only, a loving tribute and acknowledgement of a great human being who made a difference in her community and the lives of all she touched.

Mary had always laughed that because she moved to Derry-Londonderry 30 years ago, she was considered a “blow in” by the locals. But she knew where her home was and chose to be buried in Creggan Cemetery overlooking the city she loved so well.

For those of us who worked with her, who knew and loved her, the loss of Mary’s presence and wisdom is immeasurable. So connected was she to everything we are and do in Northern Ireland, it has been hard to think of how to go on without her. Yet one of her friends said that before she died, Mary gave these instructions: “Just keep going as if I’m still here.” Difficult as it may be, that is what we will do.