Steve Rozelle:
Let me share one story that reflects how the Mastery Foundation has empowered my vocation as an Episcopal priest and has affected my personal life and ministry beyond my dreams. Every September, I begin confirmation classes for the eighth graders in the parish, most of whom are 14 years old. The classes are held on Fridays for about an hour. For years, the whole process was dreadful! Mothers actually had to drag their children to class, no one was interested or wanted to listen, and it was a drag for me as well.
Then one year, during the second week of class, we were reviewing our baptismal vows, and I mentioned that the vow to “respect the dignity of every human being” was the most important one to me. Then I shared with the group how I have struggled trying to create my own dignity, self-esteem, and self-confidence. While there have been moments of self-congratulation, for the most part that process has been a dead end street. I never seem to be smart enough, good looking enough, or rich enough. (If you are an awkward teenager, you can add not athletic enough.) The example I used was that every Sunday I receive fourteen compliments on my sermon and one criticism, and I am haunted by the criticism – a reminder of not being good enough.
At that moment, something from the Making a Difference course clicked for me, and I asked each student to buy a spiral notebook and everyday to create someone else’s dignity and record it. And there was another aspect to the assignment – to quit working on your own dignity, your own confidence, and self-esteem. The kids had never heard this suggestion before – I mean we’re all taught how important it is to be self-confident. But the good news is that while it is very difficult to create our own confidence, we can give confidence to someone else, the kind of confidence and dignity that are produced when the coach says “nice play.” The invitation to the kids was to give someone else confidence and notice the result.
So every Friday, the eleven kids in the group would share one or two experiences from their homework. They began with small things like remembering the name of the lady who gives out milk in the cafeteria or thanking mom for making dinner. Each week, the dignity stories became more inspiring. After failing his math test and being chastised by his teacher, Greg took time to visit after class and thank the teacher for being so committed to Greg’s education. Joanne, who prefaced her dignity story by saying it wasn’t real good, told the class she searched for and found the school janitor to tell her how nice the polished floors looked in the hallway. The janitor beamed and then cried. Elizabeth, who worked with mentally handicapped youngsters, had an awards night and presented framed certificates for “Happiest Disposition,” “Best Smile,” “Friendliest,” and so on. And Jennifer, whose best friend’s mother made her daughter wear a dress to a school dance, also wore a dress (knowing it wasn’t a dressy dance). They were the only two in dresses, but Jennifer created her friend’s dignity by keeping her from being entirely embarrassed.
There were wonderfully moving dignity stories every week. By the fourth Friday, the kids flew into class, often reminding their moms to “Hurry up, or we’ll be late for class.” One afternoon, while I was talking, a couple of the kids were yakking to each other, only to be reminded to “Stop it” by one of the other kids, “cause it doesn’t create dignity for Fr. Rozzelle.” Years later, I still hear stories about how someone’s dignity was created. In fact, as soon as the students became eligible for the Senior High Youth Group, creating another’s dignity was written into the motto of the youth group.
The Mastery Foundation has provided me incredible tools for ministry in this very happy church of mine. That eighth grade confirmation class epitomizes “making a difference at St. Mark’s.” I will be forever grateful to everyone who is part of the Mastery Foundation and the source for one miracle after another in my life.
Stephen Rozelle
St. Mark’s Episcopal Church
Basking Ridge, New Jersey